tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2563217116909608252024-03-13T22:12:23.422-07:00My Life, My Thoughts, My Views.This whole Blog ordeal i have going will basically be about how my life is AT the moment, My Views on certain Subjects, And at times just my weird Thoughts. Hope you enjoy reading them, and please Leave a comment i love to hear your point of view. And seriously thank you all for reading my blog i hope it helps you more then it helps me. :)BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-8250902675053543712011-09-06T11:30:00.001-07:002011-09-06T11:30:51.988-07:00Why do we do this...?<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Why must we go to College..? "To get a better job, to get more of an education, to become a better person.. blah blah blah.." </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">To be honest what the fuck are we all doing? We are going to school and spending our lives devoting our existance to something so stupid.. We have to either pay right out from our own pocket or get money through student loans. But in all what does that do, it makes us broke. And it gives us a sense of no hope. When you have to drop 2-3k on classes that are so fucking stupid, example: Biology, Math, English, Computer Information Systems, Psychology, Economic etc etc. We spend so much money for what? More of what we already somewhat know?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It's ridiculous that WE THE FUTURE have to pay and go almost in DEBT to better OURSELVES. What happened to " BETTERING THE FUTURE."? How are we going to better the future when we can't even support ourselves because we have to pay for classes and or pay off loans for SCHOOL. For something that will better US the "FUTURE" And on top of that having to deal with all the stressors such as Quizes and Exams, Midterms... Doing all your homework.. Everything.. How does that make US the future better? By making us Stress out to the point we lose who we are and become mindless and almost insane zombies?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">To be honest I believe we learn more from the REAL WORLD then we would if we had gone to school for so long. I mean i'm pretty happy with my life. I mean really all I consider to be well "Mine" would be my newly bought Longboard. Simply because it's a simple and effective means of transportation. But i've learned more about myself just from skating for not even 4-5 days then I ever have going to school. I've learned that I cannot find peace within myself while I am in school because I stress so much. And when you cannot smoke any weed because you are also trying to find a job it doesn't make things any better. </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It's a simple Stress pile on. And yet when I go out at night and just cruise on my board for shit 15-30 minutes I feel more at peace with nothing then I do when I have all that stuff. Is that sad? Is that depressing? Or is that a good thing? I'm learning that now in my life all I want to do is verture out. I want to try surfing, I want to snowboard. I want to enjoy NATURE. Because simply put that is all we as HUMANS need. NATURE, in all it's beauty and splender. There is nothing more or less then I personally want right now in life but to just go out and ENJOY things. </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish I could smoke to make those things even MORE enjoyable but it's not that easy. Because if you don't have a job then you can't do anything. If you aren't going to college you won't go far in life and you won't be anything to Society.. Who the FUCK cares about what society wants? What is the point in owning a 1 million dollar house and all that shit when in reality you personally will never be happy? We all seriously need to WAKE UP and realize things in life aren't always important. College, Money, Power, Women, Cars, Drugs (Mary Jane is not a drug it's a plant..). What's the point in trying to make those things your life? Will you PERSONALLY be happy at the end of any of those roads? NO.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">We need to seriously look at our lives think about what we LOVE to do. Whether it be Skating, Hiking, Driving a car, Working on cars, Building things, whatever it is. And we should go for that goal. It's stupid to have to do like 419244839241 things just to get to that ONE goal you have. I'm personally waiting for ITT-Tech to come around so I can simply focus on what i'd like to do as a career. But it's funny that at Universities we'd have to take 5-6? give or take classes to get to the ONE goal. Why not just study that ONE goal and be done with it. Whatever happened to that?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Personally all I want to do is get into something in the Computer field and hopefully move out to Cali and just Enjoy nature. Because Cali is one of the most beautiful places to enjoy because they have to Beach, the nice flowing Hills, and some of the most beautiful sceneary. I mean really all I can do now is just hope and wait it out. But to be honest that is hands down on of my dreams. And I know one day I will reach that goal. But of course I have to deal with all that random BULLSHIT inbetween here and then.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But real talk, We need to stop focusing on College and more schooling.. Though with todays standards it's nearly impossible to get anywhere without some form of schooling.. We as "THE FUTURE" need to focus on OUR personal LIFE GOALS. What would we want to show our future kids? To stress out and GO TO COLLEGE LIKE YOUR SUPPOSED TO! OR To sit back and enjoy life and all it's beauty. And to find your own personal calling in life and follow your dreams. It's stupid as I sit here writing this that all this came to mind simply because of Biology and how you cannot pass a quiz unless you get a complete 100% that means NO WRONG ANSWERS. It's horse shit. And we all know it.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But will we do something about it? No, because it's what society wants. I mean how am I supposed to buy that Million Dollar house and that BMW and live that rich life and never be happy but Shit I GOT MONEY. Fucking pointless and stupid. I could easily live my life as a semi making it person and feel great. As long as I got my friends and my Family that's all I need. And of course my Dreams and my Goals. It's amazing when you sit back and look at it, you can have everything material wise in life but will you personally be happy? Probably not. And I know I wouldn't.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">So sit back for a second and think about what you want in life, what are your goals, what do you want and what do you need. Think about the pros and the cons. Simply put just think, use your brain. Begin a chapter in your life that you know you need. Because everyones day will come. It's just will you make it happen?</div><div><br />
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</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-26088515787430902672011-09-06T11:29:00.001-07:002011-09-06T11:29:59.578-07:00Beauty..<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;">Now it's taken me till now to realize how beautiful nature is.. It's taken me finding a religion, and buying something so well random for me to actually sit back and look at nature as something less blah and something more perfect. Nature brings us beauty in it's most raw and unchanged forms. From caves that have the most impeccable stelagmites and stelagtites. To the rushing waves of a beach to the slow and steady currents of a river. To just the trees and bushes surrounding our houses. It's something we miss and often forget.. And it's the one thing we never look to.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;">Now it's taken me finding Buddhism and getting a longboard to truly see how beautiful nature truly is.. It's made me sit back and think about how beautiful things really are even in the worst of situations. Like I don't have a running car, or a lot of money well to be honest I have no money.. But it's one thing to just sit there and enjoy the simple things. The wind blowing, the lightning or thunder, or even the trickle of rain or even the harsh sun. We always forget about how much nature effects how we are. I'd say we all almost need to drop technology and just go out and see what life is like without it.. To me it's beautiful. It brings me so much peace knowing that I don't have to check my phone for texts ( though I never get any) or look for any type of thing online or anything like that.. I can simply just sit back and see life in a new light.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;">And I mean my life right now isn't where I'd want it to be. But I know it's just temporary. And soon enough I will find my place in life. But for now I will just sit back maybe take my longboard out for a nice little skate and just enjoy the lovely things that nature has given us and just breathe..</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;">Peace&Love</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;">-Jared</span>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-65170693624830160112011-08-28T04:12:00.001-07:002011-08-28T04:12:25.032-07:00Not sure anymore...<br />
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It feels like I just find myself. And then I start to question what are my life goals, who I am, and what my belief system was..</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But you know what? It's the spice of life. It's all those worries and uncertainties that makes life so special. And it's going to be a life journey to find myself. And to find where I want to go... </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But it will take patience. And I know that. But it's going to be fun and well worth it in the end. And it's going to be something to tell people about while going through it all.. </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I mean at first it was kind of a weird experience that feeling of just losing everything within myself. But I will start to piece it back together one by one. And hopefully I will lead a positive and healthy life. Because I know it's up to me to figure everything out. But it's knowing that fact that it kind of makes it exciting. It makes me look forward to the rest of my life.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And I know I talk about how girls here are stupid and all. But it's just me venting out anger and frustration. Because I feel lonely. And it's sad when I sit back and realize that I say those things though they are somewhat true. But it's more of my own fault. It's not like i'm getting out and meeting new people. Which is hard.. But I guess all I could say is Sorry to those few Women in SV that are actually worth the time to date. And i'm sorry for I guess being an Ass Hat.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And at the same time i've started to meditate. And at the end of it all I find myself at peace. Almost at a happy state. Simply because I clear my mind of all the "Drama" and the "Bullshit" of life. And it's made me look at things in a different light. And at the same time it's helped me realize who is truly there for me in life. And that is Family. Seriously big thanks to "My Nigga Sister" Ashley. And my Parents for making me who I am. And my Grandparents for always having my back and supporting me. Because I realized that they are more important then the world to me. And that is truly all I need in life.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And to all the people out there who actually read these. Thank you for taking the time out to actually sit down and read these. I hope they weren't repetitive with the whole "Girls BLAH BLAH" Stuff.. And I hope I have maybe actually helped someone out there. And to those who have been my almost second family this past couple of months thanks. You all have shown me a side of life i've actually began to like and now I miss. But I know sometime soon we will be back to it sometime in the future.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But seriously Thanks to all those who read these. I hope you enjoyed it.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Peace&Love</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">-Jared</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-64223638203131123952011-08-28T04:08:00.001-07:002011-08-28T04:08:33.342-07:00Have things changed?<br />
<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Have things from the early 90's where people were scared to go out. Simply because they thought they'd die. They thought the cops would come and arrest them. Where people were killing each other. Instead of being connected as One. </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">What has happened to One Love? Where people put down their differences and come together as one. And unite no matter the race. Where there is no blood shed. It's all simply Love. Love and respect for every single person no matter what they do in life, or who they are as a person. Where has that gone?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I've been thinking about it and it seems that things haven't changed at all. We have been fighting and struggling for change, yet it seems to never come.. Is it because we all as a nation are not voting? Or is it because we are stuck in a nation where things will never change. Even though we had our first black president.. It's a mind blowing thing to sit back and look at how life was back in the early 90's where Race made you who you are. And coming to now in the present and still seeing some differences..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I don't know if it is me, but what's the point of trying to show other people love when in return they don't show anything.. They won't hit me up to hang.. I have to be that person to initiate things. What's wrong with that? Where is the love when I PERSONALLY have to try to iniate things..? Maybe i'm just taking things wrong and i am just being Anti-Social.. But where is the love when it feels like I have to initiate things, where I have to keep up to date and know what's going down and what's good?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It's killing me as I sit at home thinking of all that I had to where I am. But then realizing it's made me a better person to be away from it all. Away from all that Drama, and almost consistant thing.. I've come to a peace that almost makes me sad.. I am alone. But you know what it's sad to say it's almost better to be alone then with those I had the most respect and love for.. Because in the end I might not be 100% happy, or feel 100% up to things.. But I know what I am, and I know where I can go in life..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And it's sad to sit back and look at how Love and Respect get's lost so fast. Because of some stupid and nonsesical things.. What's the point of being on Top and being "THE SHIT" when in reality you aren't happy.. What's the point in believing in something when you will never be happy even believing in that.. You can complain so much about things, yet say things are great. How is that? How are you so happy yet in such a hell?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It seems like things no matter the Era or timeline they never change. It's up to US as ONE notice how I say that ONE to rise and combat those things that drive us to sadness and anger. We all as a ONE have to make things change.. It's something easier said then done, but I know it can be done.. So stop all this stupid violence.. Stop the Drama.. Stop the Hate... Stop the Anger..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And realize that We all as ONE NEED to come together. And we NEED to end all the hate and disdan.. We need to rise up and focus on our futures and how things will be for our children.. We need to join eachothers triumphs and downfalls.. We need to be ONE before we can even think of change.. And to be honest i've been thinking about those things for what seems like years... And what's sad is nothing is being done.. Whether it be the governments fault or our own. </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">We need to open our eyes and look at ourselves. What are you? Who are you? What makes you who you are? Why do you do the things that you do? What would make your present or future better? What will make you happy? What will drive you insane? What will make you find peace? What will make you change? What has made you think the way you think? Was it your own personal thought? Or was it someone elses? </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">You have to open up your own mind before you can try to change and hate others.. If you can't open up your own mind then what are you? What makes you worth anything? Why should we even look or think about you?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Do you see what I am saying? Things don't start from just anywhere.. YOU HAVE TO START THE CHANGE WITHIN YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN SAY OR DO ANYTHING.</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">(And to those who are wondering I just watch a Documentary on Tupac (2Pac) and it made me think about these things.. As they said Tupac was a " Bad man" but in reality he was speaking of what was going on around him.. And all the things that were wrong with this nation.. And what needs to be fixed.. And he said something in a interview he was on he said something to the lines of " The poor and the rich should switch places to see what it's like in each others shoes.. Even if it were just for a week..." Things like that would open up peoples eyes to what is wrong.. And what is truly right..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">So please take these things into your life and realize you could have it easy or you could have it hard.. But it's life and if you have it easy you won't be near as strong and wise as those who had it hard..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Peace&Love</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">-Jared</div></div><div><br />
</div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-20316753643232457932011-08-07T21:36:00.001-07:002011-08-07T21:36:12.980-07:00Have things changed?<br />
<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Have things from the early 90's where people were scared to go out. Simply because they thought they'd die. They thought the cops would come and arrest them. Where people were killing each other. Instead of being connected as One. </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">What has happened to One Love? Where people put down their differences and come together as one. And unite no matter the race. Where there is no blood shed. It's all simply Love. Love and respect for every single person no matter what they do in life, or who they are as a person. Where has that gone?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I've been thinking about it and it seems that things haven't changed at all. We have been fighting and struggling for change, yet it seems to never come.. Is it because we all as a nation are not voting? Or is it because we are stuck in a nation where things will never change. Even though we had our first black president.. It's a mind blowing thing to sit back and look at how life was back in the early 90's where Race made you who you are. And coming to now in the present and still seeing some differences..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I don't know if it is me, but what's the point of trying to show other people love when in return they don't show anything.. They won't hit me up to hang.. I have to be that person to initiate things. What's wrong with that? Where is the love when I PERSONALLY have to try to iniate things..? Maybe i'm just taking things wrong and i am just being Anti-Social.. But where is the love when it feels like I have to initiate things, where I have to keep up to date and know what's going down and what's good?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It's killing me as I sit at home thinking of all that I had to where I am. But then realizing it's made me a better person to be away from it all. Away from all that Drama, and almost consistant thing.. I've come to a peace that almost makes me sad.. I am alone. But you know what it's sad to say it's almost better to be alone then with those I had the most respect and love for.. Because in the end I might not be 100% happy, or feel 100% up to things.. But I know what I am, and I know where I can go in life..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And it's sad to sit back and look at how Love and Respect get's lost so fast. Because of some stupid and nonsesical things.. What's the point of being on Top and being "THE SHIT" when in reality you aren't happy.. What's the point in believing in something when you will never be happy even believing in that.. You can complain so much about things, yet say things are great. How is that? How are you so happy yet in such a hell?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It seems like things no matter the Era or timeline they never change. It's up to US as ONE notice how I say that ONE to rise and combat those things that drive us to sadness and anger. We all as a ONE have to make things change.. It's something easier said then done, but I know it can be done.. So stop all this stupid violence.. Stop the Drama.. Stop the Hate... Stop the Anger..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And realize that We all as ONE NEED to come together. And we NEED to end all the hate and disdan.. We need to rise up and focus on our futures and how things will be for our children.. We need to join eachothers triumphs and downfalls.. We need to be ONE before we can even think of change.. And to be honest i've been thinking about those things for what seems like years... And what's sad is nothing is being done.. Whether it be the governments fault or our own. </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">We need to open our eyes and look at ourselves. What are you? Who are you? What makes you who you are? Why do you do the things that you do? What would make your present or future better? What will make you happy? What will drive you insane? What will make you find peace? What will make you change? What has made you think the way you think? Was it your own personal thought? Or was it someone elses? </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">You have to open up your own mind before you can try to change and hate others.. If you can't open up your own mind then what are you? What makes you worth anything? Why should we even look or think about you?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Do you see what I am saying? Things don't start from just anywhere.. YOU HAVE TO START THE CHANGE WITHIN YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN SAY OR DO ANYTHING.</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">(And to those who are wondering I just watch a Documentary on Tupac (2Pac) and it made me think about these things.. As they said Tupac was a " Bad man" but in reality he was speaking of what was going on around him.. And all the things that were wrong with this nation.. And what needs to be fixed.. And he said something in a interview he was on he said something to the lines of " The poor and the rich should switch places to see what it's like in each others shoes.. Even if it were just for a week..." Things like that would open up peoples eyes to what is wrong.. And what is truly right..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">So please take these things into your life and realize you could have it easy or you could have it hard.. But it's life and if you have it easy you won't be near as strong and wise as those who had it hard..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Peace&Love</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">-Jared</div></div><div><br />
</div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-76944581426035154422011-05-23T14:29:00.001-07:002011-05-23T14:29:57.305-07:00I wish I wish upon a Star..<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish that i could have someone to hold, to be with every minute of the day.. To stare deeply into their eyes.. For someone to love.. Even for someone else to talk to.. To have Deep meaningful conversations with.. Someone to just hold hands with.. </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But it seems like that is just a fantasy.. No matter how much i could try.. It will never happen.. Simply because of how i look, or how i am as a person.. And i've grown to literally wait to sleep to dream.. To dream about the life i wish i could have.. To dream about the girl i wish i could have.. Because in reality everything is just that.. A Dream.. And it seems like no matter what it will stay that way.. And i know i have a "LIFETIME" ahead of me.. But who is to say i have a lifetime? Who is to say that having all the patience in the world could help me? Who is to say that it's better to not have a special someone?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It's something i've lived with for so long.. But i still want to be with someone now. Not later.. Even if it was just a Thing and nothing more.. Having someone to talk to.. To hangout with everyday... To enjoy the little things with.. It's something i've dreamed of for so long.. And have yet to actually see in my life.. And it kills me to see those around me get to enjoy and have those moments.. While i get to sit in the dark and think.. And i know i should be happy and i am.. But sitting there and everyone talking about how happy they are.. Or how many stories they have..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I don't have those moments.. And it gets tiresome to hear them.. I mean as i said i am happy for you, trust me.. But to hear about how happy you are to have a girl, and how you enjoy hanging with them and all doesn't really help me... It makes me feel more alone then ever.. It makes me personally feel like shit though it shouldn't.. I mean it makes me feel alone.. It makes me feel like i have nothing in my life.. It makes me feel like a no one.. Almost like i am not even there.. I mean it almost makes me seem like i am jelly.. But it's almost like you kind of rub it in even if you don't mean to..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">So as i said.. I'm happy for you.. But at the same time it makes me want to have a girl to hold hands with.. It makes me wish i had someone.. It feels like no matter what i say, or do girls never truly see me for me. Wait.. Well they do.. But they can't get past my appearance.. So once again i will tell you all who i am deep down..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">ME: I am a hopeless romantic.. I love having deep meaningful conversations.. I love having that connection with people that makes me feel accepted.. I love Tattoos and Piercings.. I love being myself.. I love Genuine Smiles.. I love PEACE.. I love music.. I love being Diabetic.. I love being Unique.. I love my Beard.. I love relaxing.. I love hanging with friends.. I love laying in bed wether i be watching tv or just doing nothing.. I love having a good laugh.. I love being around fun and interesting people.. I love hearing peoples life stories.. I love the human mind...</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I also wish people could stop talking about the military.. Though i get it is a great way of getting away and getting great benefits and such.. It's just a simple fact that i was REALLY planning of joining.. BUT i cannot join anymore.. Simply because of me being Diabetic.. And hearing about it constantly makes me sorry to say HATE the whole conversation.. Yes i do understand it is a GREAT option.. But since i can't go in.. I don't like talking about it.. It is a sore subject for me.. It's almost like if we were to talk about YOUR Ex.. You feel me?</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">(This is the part where i wish i had a bunch of stuff :))</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish i was Skinny.. </div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish i had a nicer car..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish i had a Girl..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish i was more out going..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish i was more adventurous..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish people could ACTUALLY see Me for ME...</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish people would stop judging me...</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish people would stop using me... ( for my thoughts..)</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish i could wake up to a beautiful face every morning..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish that my life could have ZERO stress and ZERO Drama..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish that i could just be someone else...</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I wish that my life would be like how i see it when i am dreaming..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">As you can see i have a bunch of dumb wishes.. But i guess i could say they are just that.. WISHES... And it seems like i can try to make others believe.. And feel great.. But in the end i can't even make myself 100% mentally.. I can have my moments of 100% mental.. But in the end.. I can never be 100%.. Simply because of my goals not being met.. And because of certain things being on my mind.. I just wish upon a star that i could finally find someone... And soon.. And finally reach a certain happiness in my life.. Even if it was just for a day.. or even a week..Or shit even for the rest of my life..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I know it sounds cheesy to say that.. But it's true.. When you have someone in your life that is it has that certain relationship meaning to it.. It makes your life seem better.. Or i should say more Bearable.. To an almost more meaningful life... I feel like if i were to somehow get into a relationship with someone that i could maybe finally move on in life and grow.. Grow more than i have already in life.. And become more at peace with myself then i have already..</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I hate my low self-esteem.. I hate how i cannot for the life of me actually ask a girl out.. I do know that after some time things will work themselves out.. But it's like i cannot wait.. I need it now more then ever.. But fuck my life it probably never will.. Oh well.. On with life i suppose right? :\</div></div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-73303337700984176692011-05-14T18:49:00.001-07:002011-05-14T18:49:49.907-07:00The Prayer....<div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">I’ve had times where i’ve thought that maybe i was brought here for a reason.. But then i look at all the hate, the using, the drama… And i realize why the fuck am i around this stuff? Why do we constantly do these things? At times i feel like all i have is my Words.. Nothing more, Nothing Less.. Just Words… And i get used for Those Words constantly.. I guess one could say i’ve grown tired of my life being about me trying to be there for everyone, to help them get through their problems only to get those problems thrown back in my face..</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">(EXAMPLE) “This guy is a D-Bag i hate him blah blah.. for once in my life i wish i could find someone who cares about ME.. And Wants to be there for ME..” Then i say, ” Yeah it does suck to be used but use it as a learning experience. You are strong and will do many great things in this life.. Trust me.” Then ” Awe thanks, you know i wish i could date a guy like you.” Me Thinking ” Well i am here.. I am single.. I am always there for you… Yet you don’t see me.. STILL…”</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">Seriously it even goes like this.. ” Yeah i don’t like people based on looks..” Yet you go for the guy who is hot.. And has a nice car.. And he maybe even think somewhat like i do.. It’s bull shit.. IF YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THOSE THINGS THEN WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM EVEN LOOKING AT ME IN A RELATIONSHIP MINDSET? I might not have a “HOT” Body.. Or a HELLA nice car.. But i have been there through your worst times.. I have seen things many people would NEVER see in their lives.. And i have a disease most will never get. I have Grown up in life, because i HAD to. While it seems like everyone around me is almost the same..</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">I’m also tired as all hell of being a fucking middle man.. By Middle Man i mean the guy you tell everything to. The guy that has no stress or drama until you drop the giant dump of a problem on me. I’m the guy you come to to tell the simplest or even the most insane confusing drama ever.. I’m also the guy that drags peoples asses out of their “Hell Hole”. Which is bull shit.. Now don’t get me wrong. I love hearing about your problems, and i love talking about life.. But being the guy that you literally bring the drama and all the unnecessary bull shit into my life is just enough.. I’M DONE WITH IT.</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">Now i feel sometimes that my words are all people care about from me. They love to hear my thoughts.. But they don’t actually seem to care about me.. And it makes me think of what will happen when i die? Will people remember me for what i wrote? Or will they remember me for who i was? Or would people even give a shit about me if i was to die? Or if i was on my death bed.. Would people care? Like it amazes me how people say they care about me, but it seems like they could give a shit less about me.. Because all they seem to care about is what i write..</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">I’ve seen for to long people say “Why do guys turn into ass holes out of no where? Or why do they blow me off like i am nothing? Or why does it seem like all guys are D-Bags?” You want the real answer? It’s because of people like YOU. People who basically say “Fuck You, you are not hot.” You wonder why the nice guys change? It’s because they change because they’ve been told that they are to nice for them.. Or don’t deserve you.. Look at me, i am in no means hot. But when i try my damn near hardest to get into a relationship i get shot down countless times. Why? Because i am not “Hot” i do not own a sexy ass car.. </div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">I’m sorry that i am a THINKER. I’m sorry that everything i own in my life is in my mind. All the heartbreaks.. All the sadness, anger, joy, triumphs. ALL of my ” worthless belongings” are all in my mind. They are EVERY SINGLE fucking thing i have grown and lived with in my life. They are what make me ME, NOT SOME “HOT” BODY OR A FLASHY CAR. ME I AM WHAT MAKES ME ME. And i’m tired of being told me “Be ME” and Girls will follow.. I FUCKING AM ME AND I KNOW I AM SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ME BEING ME. I have been there when i was down, I have been there when i was at my greatest.. Who are you to tell me to be me?</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">I’m so sorry that my not so hot body is the reason why you won’t actually date someone like me.. Seriously get off that high ass horse you sit on and LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT MY LIFE, LOOK AT WHERE I WAS AND WHERE I AM. THEN judge me based off of that. Because 9/10 i will always win the “Who is better” event. Because my life has never been easy. I’ve never been handed shit. I got my Car, I got my Phones, I got my Tv. I’ve bought EVERY Thing i own. So before you sit there and think, “Oh this guy is hella nice.. but man.. i wish he was more hot..” Think about EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING I’VE SAID…</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px;">I mean at times it seems like i’d be easier to literally just let “God” Take me. Because all of the bull shit and everything i’ve seen or see daily just drives me nuts. (( I’m not going to kill myself…)) But you hear me? It’s like what’s the point of even saying you don’t do this or that.. Yet you do it daily. So please Stop all the random bull shit.. Stop the Drama. Stop the using.. Stop the judgement.. Stop everything.. Be YOURSELF, BE HAPPY and BELIEVE. Because i’ve started doing all of these yet it feels like i never did.. All the non-stop crap.. Just END IT.</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-1343711418070255942011-05-09T22:39:00.001-07:002011-05-09T22:39:23.970-07:00Not sure where i'm going with this one..<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">This is going to be a SHIT ton of stuff i just randomly think of.. And end up writing about..</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>Now why do we say we are never good enough? </strong>We say it because we either A.) say it to get others to stop thinking about us and move on. Or B.) because we think low of ourselves. We often think so low of ourselves because of troubling times. We somewhat lose ourselves due to ourselves.. (if that makes sense) We become something we don't like to see.. Wether it be a Pessimist, or a Drunken Ignorant Kid.. When hit with a troubling issue we become the opposite of what we stand for or even what we see in people..</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>Why do we always have to hurt others?</strong> Because we are hurt ourselves.. We are sad with what we have, We cannot stand what we live for.. We think our life is hell so we make others feel that hell.. We cannot stand being alone in life.. So we make DAMN SURE that others feel the exact same way.. Which is quite stupid.. But it happens.. And we can either learn from the hurt or fall into it and burn...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>Why do we become addicted?</strong> We become addicted to things to escape our lives.. Whether it be a Stressful life, or even a Hell hole.. We only want to escape our lives because they have become so overwhelming.. That we have to find some way of getting away from it all, it could be drinking.. going to the gym.. smoking.. or even doing some hardcore drugs.. But in the end we are all fragile.. And trying to escape reality is nothing to joke about.. But at the same time it feels so good, no stress, no drama... Just enjoying life..</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>What do we Deserve?</strong> We all deserve as humans to be treated as well Humans. We deserve to be accepted by peers. That no matter what issues, flaws, or mistakes we only want to be accepted. And when we don't get accepted we fall into a deep depression.. We then TRY our damn near hardest to become something we never were.. So remember this.. We try our whole life to be Accepted, to be wanted.. To feel that special thing we sometimes call Love.. All we want is someone to be there for us in our time of need.. So please don't say you "Deserve" better.. Because who is to say i don't deserve something like you?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>Why are we always downing ourselves?</strong> It's because of like what i said our longing to be accepted.. When that misfires.. We down ourselves. We cannot think of ourselves as one to be looked at by the opposite sex.. We constantly think of ourselves as "Ugly" or "A Waste Of Space" Which doesn't help at all...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>ME</strong>... I've grown tired of being told, "You have a life time ahead of you etc etc etc..." I get it.. I have maybe 50+? years ahead of me.. But what if i am tired of waiting for my god damn lottery ticket..? What if i just want the million dollar woman now? What if i am tired of the constant feeling of being alone? What if i don't have the patience anymore? What if i have grown to accept the knowledge of possibly being alone for a long time? What if i never get another chance?.. Now this town is boring.. And since it is boring i have picked up some things to do.. And it helps me forget about shit.. But what if i wanted someone to talk to..? To take the free time i have and make it count...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">What if all i wanted in life right now is to just have someone next to me? Yes i know "RELATIONSHIPS SUCK!!!" Blah Blah.. But to be honest i just want to have a GIRL that i can CHILL with all alone just me and her, no drama, no friends, Just me and a Girl.. Getting to know each other.. Maybe holding hands while walking.. Maybe even giving her a kiss on the cheek.. Taking her out to dinner and a movie.. Just enjoying the presence of a WOMAN.. I mean at times i sit there and think about what i am missing out on.. The simplest fucking thing in the world.. That attraction.. That feeling of acceptance.. I understand having friends.. But what if i didn't want more friends...? What if i actually only wanted to have a Girlfriend? What if i just want to feel "Loved"..?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I feel like whenever i hear repeats of something i slightly lose whatever that is.. Like, " Hey you have a lifetime ahead of you..." or "You are a Great Guy"... or "Why can't all guys be like you?" or "Your writing is GREAT".. or "You are so inspirational!".. Every time i hear those answers i feel like they have no meaning anymore.. I hear it so much it's repetitive.. And it seems Meaningless.. What if i don't have a Life time? What if i was to die in a week?... What if i am not a "Great Guy"..? Or What if i am who i am.. And YOU are just blind..? What if i think what i write is complete crap because ANYONE can do it...? What if i am not inspirational... And in fact You are?</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">It seems like for a Life time i've always wanted to feel accepted.. Or wanted or even thought of.. But when it happens sometimes i just think, " why the fuck did i do this...? It's like what's the fucking point? I'm just going to be let down again... And later never remembered again..."</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Because if you knew i was dying would it change you? Would it make you change your views on me? on life? on reality as we know it? Most likely it wouldn't.. As most people could give a shit less of what happens in another mans life.. But if i heard any of my friends were in trouble.. in a jam.. or just sad.. I'd be there and i always have now that i think about it.. I'm tired of being the Care guy.. I'm fucking tired of caring so much about friends... I feel at times like I PERSONALLY have to be the one to say something.. Fuck i don't know where this paragraph is going... But seriously.. <span class=" fbUnderline" style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>I'M FUCKING TIRED OF ALL OF THIS SHIT!?!?!?!</strong></span></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Nice guys always wins my ass.. After all the sorrow.. Heart break.. and misery.. THEN we win.. Because then others see us... It's fucking bull shit... and my mind is just losing the thought process... so.. here i will end it...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Yet again i will say this.. If you disliked anything i've said please excuse me.. Please don't be like " SUICIDE WATCH FOR JARED" Because to be honest I'm tired of the " I'm sorry you feel that way jared.. maybe you should... etc etc" The guilt trip stuff basically is what i am tired of.. WRITE ME AN HONEST COMMENT... Tell me i am crazy.. or i am right.. i don't care anymore...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-62804052887707123372011-05-07T00:41:00.000-07:002011-05-07T00:41:34.386-07:00I'm Tired....Stupid Sh@#...(RANTRANTRANT)<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I'm tired of the constant judgement.. I'm tired of this feeling of being alone.. I'm tired of seeing how many people are DOUCHE Bags... I'm tired of getting told how to live my life.. I'm tired of waking up and realizing that my thoughts are the only constant form or reassurance... I'm tired of never being normal again... I'm so fucking tired of hearing about bull shit issues.. I'm tired of being used for being me.. I'm more tired now that it's slowly starting to take away my Belief in myself.. I'm so tired of seeing people getting what they want.. I'm tired of feeling an empty part of your body is there... I'm tired of religion.. I'm tired of Politics...I'm tired of waiting for my night to come around so i can feel normal.. I'm tired of being so "Nice".. I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror and saying, "You could be different...".. I'm tired of people talking about how they could "get out" of SV... I'm tired of fucking cellphones.. I'm tired of this life i see in front of me... I'm growing so tired of all of these things that i will sooner or later get tired of being me... And i will snap... And be who i most despise.. And no one could even think of stopping me... </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I do what i want to and in MY LIFE, i don't give a shit about what you do with yours... Wether it be you bitching about the smallest things or going on a vacation... I'm sorry that your life is "Hard"... Motha FUNKA i got Diabetes.. I can't be all happy go lucky with my life as i used to in the past.. My life is full of numbers.. Equations.. And repetitive things that would drive any man mad.. But you know what... NO.. I won't talk about myself.. Let me hear YOUR problems, YOUR DRAMA, YOUR LIFE, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR BULLSHIT... Since i guess YOUR life is more important then mine, or shit ANY other person in this world.. Since the WHOLE world rests on YOUR shoulders... Give me a FUCKING BREAK...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And i hate the feeling of having someone get you... then they trick the shit out of you.. I am one who loves being noticed.. But i am a shy guy at first.. But when someone even talks to me that is a girl after 30 mins of talking to you i'm going to think you dig me.. THEN i will just fold in my cards and realize i was WAY wrong in even thinking i could get with you... "What was i thinking...? I could never get a girl like that...." It's all that goes through my mind...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I feel like i work hard at life.. I might not go to church but i'm a good human.. I try to do right.. And be nice.. But when i get shit on almost 24/7 for living my life, how does that make anyone feel? It's fucking stupid to be sitting there trying to live your life when someone is constantly saying you FUCKED UP or YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! Shit a fucking BRICK it's MY LIFE. IF I WANT TO DO DRUGS I WILL, IF I WANT TO DRINK I WILL, IF I WANT TO BE A DOUCHE BAG I WILL BE.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Doing something shouldn't make you an outcast, or shunned.. I fucking hate the feeling of being CONSTANTLY judged by people who have NO understanding of why i do what i do.. I do what i do because i want to get away from my fucked up life.. I get away from Diabetes even for a bit.. I can feel great about my life.. I can think only great positive thoughts.. And i can relax and enjoy EVERY little thing life has to give.. But to you i look like a Freak, an Addict.. The anti-christ.. Or even a lazy fuck hole of a friend...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">But let me say this, When i do what i do i become a better person. I think about every detail in life. I become more aware of my surroundings.. I enjoy things.. I forget about house drama, My life right now, ANYTHING in life.. (stress etc etc) And i sit back and think, " Why are we here on earth? Why do we judge? Why do we not care...?" But when i'm back in reality all i can think about is "Did that person make fun of me? What is wrong now? What happened to you? Why is your day shitty?"</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I'm also tired of being the first to do anything.. I'm usually the one to hit friends up to hang out.. or Chill. It's fine if you are tired and want to sleep.. But hanging out with other people or me even having to contact you first... It gets annoying.. I'm tired of being the one to force the friendship at times.. It's almost like i should just go off the grid and just stop talking in all.. And i love hanging out with you.. Straight up.. I just don't like it.. :\</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I might not be "HOT".. But i have a MIND millions would love to have.. And a Heart most would never see.. It's amazing to me how people say "You're a great guy...Blah Blah..." But they actually mean to say " I don't find you attractive..." If i am such a great guy then why aren't we dating? Why am i constantly being thrown back into the closest? It's fucking repetitive.. It's because, though you may say you don't care about looks.. You truly do.. And you know it... You just say shit like this to make people like ME feel better.. You give us a sense of "pride" or "existence".. Next time just say, " Hey your words got me thinking.. And if only you were "Hot" then we could date or have some form of relationship.. BUT because you look just bleh.. So.. I will go out with the "Hot" guy just so i can get used again and then come back to you... THEN i will just rinse and Repeat... But yeah sorry you are just a great guy.. And you will find a girl sometime... (thinks in mind: PEACE HOMIE)" </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I'm seriously tired of the "Hot" or "Social structure Bull Shi-" Just look at me for who i am and what i am and say Yes or No. Stop with the mind games, the endless bull shit.. or even the dumb sayings.. I know who i am, and what i bring to the table in a relationship.. I've lived my life for 19 years.. through thick and thin i was the only one there... So i KNOW my Life... So tell me something i don't know? Tell me why i am constantly judged, Consistently ignored in the love life, And more importantly Caring so much about other people and their problems? Or shit better yet Tell me why your so "Perfect" and yet you feel like complete shit day in and day out... Seriously..</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Get off your "High" horse bull shit.. Because funny fact, We are all the same.. But there is one thing you can't beat me at.. It's called growing up after my mistakes, learning my way through life.. And seeing things most people never see.. Because to be honest i've got more out of my life though i might not be perfect then you have or ever will... So if you want to actually find a NICE Guy NOT a "Nice" Guy.. Then HERE I FUCKING AM... Come get a look at what a REAL NICE GUY looks like.. Soak in it's sun.. Because Guess what i KNOW i'm a Good Guy.. But since i'm not "Hot" You missed me 9/10 times... Seriously... I'm tired of the bull shit...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Well i can think of much more.. but don't feel like writing it down.. If you read this i hoped you liked it.. If you hate me so be it.. I only say i'm sorry if i offended you.. But i'm seriously tired of all the B.S.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Peace&Love</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-30905251527600603462011-05-01T14:31:00.001-07:002011-05-01T14:31:59.353-07:00Stars and the Universe<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Now when (most) people think of Stars, they think of Charlie Sheen or any other failure of a life that gets paid millions upon millions of dollars.. But have you ever just looked up at the sky and said, " Man, there are billions of stars out there... And we maybe look like just another star to someone else far out there in the universe.." It just makes me think about how small we are. (Small in every way..) All of our problems, our triumphs, out strengths and our weaknesses. We are all but an atom in what this universe contains. And our problems are but a smaller molecule of that.. And On and On.. And it's funny how we sometimes feel like our problems are bigger then the world.. But in reality they are but as i said nothing but a small molecule..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Now to me the stars are beautiful. They show something that has traveled millions upon millions of light years just to give us the faint light in the sky. And to me it shows how even in the darkest of times some form of light can always be seen. Wether it be from the sky, or from ones own heart. Some form of light will always be present. And it's an on going fact in ones life. (i guess to me at least) That stars show an on going presence in life. Because it shows that light though it may have died years and years ago still shines until the very end.. And it shines just enough so those who want to see it can.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Now the universe is infinite. It's an ever growing thing. As it's an ever growing presence. It holds everything we have worked for. It gives us a feeling of not being alone. Because within all of the space it has, there is always going to be some other worldly presence. That when you think about it, it's a scaring fact.. But when you look deep down into it you realize something. The feeling of being alone is scarier then the fact of never being alone again..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And within the universe is us. The Human race. To where we think we know everything when in fact we know nothing. Though we may try to learn all that we can. We will truly never know the meanings of most important things. We have destroyed, we have built, we have grown, we have died. We all as humans have never truly stuck side by side and fought for each other. We may think we have but in fact we have not. But it's an ever growing phase that we all as humans want to save each other and help those in need..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">What we all need to realize is that all of our "Huge" problems are nothing but a small molecule to the whole universe. We always think we have lost it all, but think about it. There is an Entire Universe out there, waiting for you to take it by the horns and discover things you have never thought you'd see or do. And it's up to all of us to take that with a wondering interest. Will you be the explorer and try to discover what makes this universe go? Or will you be the person watching on T.V. ?</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Just remember, life is full of let downs, sadness, anger; to Triumphs, joy, greatness. Or even the missed shots, and disheartening rejections.. But it's how you react to every single thing life throws at you that makes you, well YOU. And it's also how you learn from those experiences. But in the end it's what you know about yourself that others will never that makes you so unique.. So grow, Grow and become something bigger then the universe. And let who you are speak to millions as that will resonate throughout the universe as many things in life can..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Peace&Love</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared</div></div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-29755750481723155752011-04-20T15:58:00.000-07:002011-04-20T15:58:14.880-07:00Simple Math (Again with FRESH thoughts)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/PaMiVDZu_T4/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PaMiVDZu_T4&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PaMiVDZu_T4&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><br />
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<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">(THIS IS HOW I SEE THIS SONG... So my Opinion... ;) ALSO sorry for how out of place it is.. My Mind has been working weird lately... )</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">At first he is just driving. But then he crashes, he goes into a consistant spin. To almost show how life can change at any moment. And in the moment he starts to go into his flashback phase. Because we often remember things from the past when in the moment of death or fear. He sees himself with his father. And he talks about how his father created him. Though his father might have been a hard ass or even just almost never there. And says that everything anyone has told him is a wrong. Or even that his own parents didn’t care to tell him it is wrong or right.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">He then runs away and says how he has to come up with a creative excuse.. Though he thought his parents were crazy. And continues to explain how his father was always there. And showed him EVERY thing from hunting to whatever else. But he has always resented it. And how everything he though was right was quite the opposite. And he is saying how he is trying to be different from his father and how people tell him he can’t. (sort of say) Which can be thought of from many different things. Like when someone tells you that you're living your life wrong.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Then it goes to show how his friends have been there through everything with him. Then in the end his dad is sitting next to him and then they are in the truck signifies how the whole time his dad was always there. And it shows that love is always there we just sometimes may never see it. He (andy hull) just never saw that. Until now. And it something we all need to see. Wether it be in ourselves or in others. We all have to see in our own lives that we have that support. Whether friends or family.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Before i just loved this song for the lyrics. Because it some-what spoke to me in a deep sort of a sense. But after they released the actual video for the song it's spoke to me on a whole new field. And it's awesome how songs can do this. It can almost make it seem like you are part of it. Or that part of your life is close to that part of your heart (i guess) to where you would remember that part for the rest of your life. I guess you could say that i have grown to love this song, the band, the lyrics. And that it has helped me see some parts in my life i have thought of as a sad or even angering for the fact of what has happened.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I've grown to love my life. Regardless of what happens. This song has helped me see what some of my own faults are. My weaknesses. And even my strengths and my own goals in life. I might just be tooting my own horn. But damn does this song make me feel good..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">(I'm sorry if what i've wrote is just all over the place.. my mind is just jumping from thought to thought lately... But this song has been the constant in my days...)</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Peace&Love</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared</div></div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-54673628381509349872011-04-05T10:37:00.000-07:002011-04-05T10:37:36.819-07:00Dreams...<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now i like many others have had many dreams. Some scare the shit out of me, others make me laugh. But most recently i had a dream that made me wake up and just wonder about my life. It somewhat made me rethink some of my life. Some of the people i have met. And my whole 18 years of my life so far.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The Dream...</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So i fell asleep like any other night. But the dream that comes to me is like no other. Now the person in this dream i have only seen in school, and this person came with me and some friends to Tuson. I have never known this person before. But this person just walked up to me in my dream and said to me, “ i will be with you..” As they just stared into my eyes, all i could do is hug the person. Now to me that fact of hearing, “I will be with you..” Made me wake up. And almost start to cry. And then i sat there in my bed thinking about my life as it is.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It is always so weird to hear someone say that to me. They would want to be with me. My whole life i’ve been used to the rejection. But this instance, this RANDOM person that i don’t really know wants to be with me. Not someone else. ME. Now i didn’t know what to do about this. I just sat there and was thinking about how long i would be alone before i met that one person for me.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet something else ran through my mind after hearing that. I never will be alone. It might take time, But i will NEVER be alone. And just hearing that in my head made me feel good.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The Other Side...</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now this is something i’ve been falling asleep to for years. After countless years of only having a bed big enough for me, having one that can fit two people is just a way of showing how lonely i am. I often go to sleep and look at the other side i just say to myself, “ God.. I wish someone was right there.. that’d be nice..” then fall asleep. But waking up is the worst. After a dream, just looking to that other side is almost like a hell to me.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It always makes me feel alone, and i do hate that feeling. But after that dream i sometimes almost see a girl sitting there looking at me and it makes me realize that i’m not alone. That girl i’ve been looking for will be there next to me one day. And i swear to GOD i will make sure she stays there by my side for the rest of my life. Because anyone who likes me, i will always love.. And i know i will find her one day.. Ahah.. One Day...</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">P.S.- Please realize this, You are never truly alone. There is always someone there for you. It will take time, But there is someone for you..</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">-Jared</span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br />
</span></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-20863993365952974962011-03-29T21:08:00.001-07:002011-03-29T21:08:18.704-07:00Rant Rant Rant... Sad Sad Sad...<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Well i think about my love life, and how awesome it is. A.K.A. it's NON-EXISTANT. And i always think about the same thing, Why me? Is it because i'm not an Ass? Or because i'm not "Hot"? OR because i happen to have my own goals in life? It's been stumbling me for a long time now. How has no one seen who i am? Is it me? Or is it them? Am i going crazy? Or them? It's a constant thought in my head. Why, Why have i been cursed to be alone for so long? Is there a greater purpose in my life that people just see me and go, "Don't even look or think about THAT guy there."</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Because no matter what the cause i know no matter HOW positive i try to be will remain my MAIN cause of pain and sorrow within myself. The loneliness of knowing there is nothing here for you. No one of the opposite sex to talk to about things. To reveal who i truly am. It's impossible. Because simply put no one ever gives me a shot, from the way i dress to the way i act. And i KNOW i'm only 19, But think about that. 19 Years of Loneliness. And it took me a long time to actually face this. And i know that i love myself. </div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">SO I'M TIRED OF HEARING, " YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE OTHERS LOVE YOU" I've been loving myself for the past 8 years. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET THROUGH. I've loved myself when those have hated me, and put me down. I WAS THE REASON I AM HERE TODAY. So please when i say why am i lonely? don't pull the you have to love yourself card. THOUGH I KNOW IT IS TRUE.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Now I had an awesome weekend, i tried something and have to say i've fallen in love. SIMPLY because it helped me relieve SO MUCH STRESS. And in the end i felt great. And Now i sit back and look at my life as it is now and realize i feel like shit.. My life in my eyes looks bad.. And i wish my life could always be as great as it was over the weekend... But there isn't any possible way.. At least not until i leave this place..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared</div></div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-25309633919772274002011-03-20T23:44:00.000-07:002011-03-20T23:44:00.252-07:00Why in the world...I've been thinking lately, and i've noticed that a lot of girls wear a BUNCH of make up. Which (to me) makes them look completely fake. Don't get me wrong some make up is cool. But when you PILE it on like there is no tomorrow it makes you look like you aren't yourself. It makes you almost seem like a Weird Cut Out. But i've realized this through many people i've seen either consistently putting more make up on, or packing it on early and when you walk up to em you see every single layer of make up they just put on.<br />
<br />
That and the consistent need for people to talk about others make up. What they are using and what tips they know. It's like (to me) WHY do we care so much about how we look (example: Looking "Younger" or having "Great" skin) now i think it is nice to DRESS nice (no ripped clothing or just dirty clothes) But our constant need to look younger disgusts me. To me (can be simply because i am a guy) when i get older so be it, i don't give a flying hell. If i bald i bald, if i have really bad skin so be it. I'm not going to sell my soul to just be accepted by people who can never accept what life has given them.<br />
<br />
And i blame stupid stuff like this to our society. We all need to look at ourselves. What we have. For men Growing a Beard is UNHEARD OF. Which back in the day if you didn't have one YOU were a no one. And for girls if you don't dress like a (sorry to say) SLUT then you are a no one. EVERY SINGLE THING is backwards. Dressing appropriately is almost thrown out the window so one can be noticed. Constantly shaving so you look "Good", when in reality all you do is look like you are a teenage boy. SIMPLY because having something is "Hideous".<br />
<br />
Now hear me out. I grew a beard for close to 6 months, and all i heard almost EVERY SINGLE DAY from the 3rd month or so was, "Shave whatever is on your FACE you look UGLY" or something to that nature. Have we grown to hate how we would look naturally? YES. We have been somewhat told since birth that "You have to be "Clean", Go to College, Get a GREAT Job, Make a lot of money, Have a Family that conforms etc etc..". To me this is insane, Simply put Money, School, Jobs don't make ANY person happy. FAMILY and FRIENDS do.<br />
<br />
But i was told EVERY Day that what i wanted to do with MY LIFE was wrong. I was told i was going nowhere. Because of a Beard. And before that I got a Tattoo. And when that happened i was told i would NEVER get a GOOD paying Job. And my Life is OVER because i got something on my body THAT I BELIEVE IN. Who is to tell me what i can and cannot do? NO ONE. If i want to do something i will do it. If my life is "Over" I wouldn't be trying to go to school or even keep my job. I would go do Drugs and kill myself or some crazy stuff like that.<br />
<br />
If you see someone with a SHIZ ton of make up on just look at them. And think to yourself why do they do that? Is it because they think they are "Ugly"? Or because they just want to be accepted by peers? Same as you would someone with Piercings or Tattoos or heck even a Beard. NEVER put limits on OTHER people. Simply look at them and think why did they do what they did. I got my Tattoo (Believe on my Right inner Forearm) because i had lost faith in myself. And the word stuck around in my life and saved me from myself. I Grow the beard i have because of a man named Evan Tanner. AND a part of me just loves having a beard. And the fact that it makes me feel better about myself.<br />
<br />
But seriously, Don't judge people so quick. Be kind to others. Be more Down To Earth. (Forgive me) But FUCK trying to fit in. All you do is lose yourself. And when that happens who are you? What are your goals? YOU wouldn't even know. If you want to grow a beard GROW one, if you want 485239 Tattoos Get them, if you want to never wear make up DO IT. Just be yourself and if people hate you for it then (forgive me again) FUCK them. They don't deserve to get to know you. Same thing applies to EVERY single thing in life. Don't be scared to venture out and do things you wouldn't normally do.<br />
<br />
Because as long as you are yourself and you believe ANYTHING in life is possible.<br />
<br />
-JaredBeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-84435721927633678282011-03-19T20:17:00.000-07:002011-03-19T20:17:47.449-07:00Worthless....(old stuff)<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i></i></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></i>I have always wondered in my life, why we all must bring others down. To make other people feel like complete Crap. To make other people feel worthless, like nobodies. We seem to consistently bring others down just to do it. We seem to not care about what they think. We have turned into a Species that only cares about our own well being. It’s sad to say it. But from what i have seen through out my life it seems to be true. I have seen my best friends fall, hit rock bottom. And it kills me to see them hit the bottom. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I have personally hit many bottoms in my life. It took me years to get over one before it seemed like 10 more issues hit me. I never went to anyone to talk to about how i felt, or even at times be the helping hand. That grand listening force. I have felt every down, from being made fun of, to hearing friends go through the worst imaginable things. And at times all i could do is sit back and realize that i have been no help at all through someones hard time.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet through all of this i’ve always wondered why do we all tend to let our selves get to these points? the LOWS... We are all unique. We all do things differently. There is no reason to be down. At least for me, when being made fun of i would always blow it off. And it would come back and haunt me for what seemed like an eternity. I have noticed that making myself down, i was literally playing into their hands. I was letting myself go. I wasn’t letting the best of my life go to the surface.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Not to sound “cliche” but we all need to put the best of our lives on the surface. We should not dwell on the terrible things that people can say about us. We are all not worthless. We all have a purpose in life. It is our destiny to make our futures what we want them to be. So do your best. AND BECOME WHAT YOU WANT. Because your best interests are better then everyone else’s. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’ve also realize that me, yes ME am a great person. I’ve grown so tired lately of my life being all about ME.. Me, Me, Me, Me. I’ve been dreading the day that i can literally stop focusing on my life. And just spend the time and get to know someone else. Get to hear their problems, and their triumphs. Because i’ve been tired of my life at the moment. It seems like to me i have not done anything for myself. All i do is keep myself alive at the moment. I feel like Crap.. My life at the moment is at a cross roads. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I want to leave.. But i know i can’t.. I want to find someone to cherish, but i can’t.. I also want to help others.. But how can i? I don’t know.. But it will all come to me someday... And to be honest even though it hurts all i can do is wait..</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">-Jared</span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br />
</span></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-62468115598739607252011-03-17T21:52:00.001-07:002011-03-17T21:52:27.352-07:00Old stuff i wrote... but the meaning is still the same..<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now I’ve gotten lately some GREAT news. My AC1 was below the normal for a Person of Type 1 Diabetes. (From what the doctor said it was WAAY below Diabetic) That means a lot to my life at the moment, some of the greatest news EVER. Though i cannot get an insulin pump. I can care less. It’s now showing me that I'm in control of MY life. And i love it. It makes me feel great knowing I'm doing so well. But the fight is never really over. This whole Diabetes thing is a life long journey. And all i can do is take it 1 step at a time. And shoot for the stars.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now my friends. Yes.. My FRIENDS. I’ve lately been hanging out with some old friends. and i have to say. I’ve missed it. I’ve missed being with them and just relaxing, and getting out of my house. And it feels even BETTER to talk to them about shit that goes through my head. I feel great. And hopefully so do they. How i’ve thought they’ve changed and they are still the same. It’s great.. And i have to thank them all for being there. And being a part of my life. I owe you all one.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now lately my love life has been... Well simply put... Non-existent. Which does suck. But what the fuck can i do about it in this little town that only has party people? I want someone who cares about their own personal well being compared to trashing their body just to be “COOL”. Stop the stupid drug use, stop the constant drinking and pick up a damn book and read it. Start USING your LIFE instead of WASTING IT.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And i’ve also noticed this town has nothing left for me, I have NOTHING to do here. And I’m quite litterally going insane being here.. it sucks to say.. But there is nothing left for me here. And i cannot wait to get the HELL OUT OF HERE. This town is just full of sad dreams, failed moments, and Drama. I want to go some place and just relax.. And realize i’m no longer in a place that just brought me to my hell. I want to feel free.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Oh and one last thing. FUCK being “COOL”. FUCK USING PEOPLE FOR YOUR PERSONAL GAIN. AND FUCK EVERYONE WHO TRIES TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? WE ALL HAVE FEELINGS. WE ALL ARE THE REAL COOL PEOPLE. AND WE RATHER HELP PEOPLE THEN USE THEM. SO FUCK YOU.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">P.S. - Please, start to believe in yourself. Your future depends on it.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Peace&Love</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">-Jared</span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br />
</span></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-2915034553189479282011-03-13T20:17:00.000-07:002011-03-13T20:17:05.650-07:00The Pen.Yes The Pen.<br />
<br />
It is something that can destroy and build lives. We use them to sign important papers and we also use them to write how much we despise someone. They are the true gateway to the human soul. Because one can either A.) Write for love and to better themselves or even tell others their pains and sorrows. Or B.) Write about hate, and completely destroy those around them. And we all need to realize what we do with The Pen. For the most part we bring hurt onto others with it. We could care less about who gets hurt or what happens. When in fact we should.<br />
<br />
Now some people pour their feelings out with The Pen. I am one of those people. I try to use The Pen to tell others about things i think about. Or even about my life, my struggles, my triumphs, and my goals. Now The Pen to me is something much stronger then most people imagine. We think of it as well a Pen. Nothing more Nothing less. When in fact it is our soul (in essence). We use them to show others what can not be said, we also use them to tell those around us how much we despise them.<br />
<br />
It is the gateway into the human soul. We either use The Pen to help or destroy. Simply put as, we use a pen to sign important documents, we use a pen to write how we feel, we use a pen to show our hate, we use a pen to show our love. As i said it is the gateway to our souls. Because our words are powerful. What we write has an effect, wether good or bad. The Pen is the most influential object in the world. Because when there is a Pen, there is always someone who will write their feelings, life, or even thoughts.<br />
<br />
We don't realize it but The Pen in essence is our source of getting how we are as people into the open. It shows others who we are and what we stand for. And people no matter the fact respect what is written with The Pen. Because in the end it is the persons feelings, their heart that goes into what they write. Words that are written with The Pen are the most powerful things in the world. Because you give them your soul, you show people who you are. So when you see a pen, think of it as a gateway and not just an object. Because only you can truly make The Pen work it's magic.<br />
<br />
-JaredBeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-60047498999262121792011-03-12T07:27:00.001-08:002011-03-12T07:27:43.666-08:00Death, yes death.<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i></i></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i>Religion And Death</i></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i></i></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></i>As i sit here thinking about my own religious beliefs i realize. I technically do not have one. My whole life i always thought about what would happen when if i did die? I would literally sit there and ponder, is it like all the christian religions think of it. A Heaven and Hell.. Is that where we are all sent to? Or are we reincarnated? I mean the thought of dying is supposed to scare us. But once we look at it, if we have yet accomplished anything in our lives we should be scared. It seems like if we have finished all we needed to, and we feel complete or a WHOLE. Then our life seems as if it wasn’t worthless.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We can then easily fall into the state of the dead knowing that we did something right. That we had done our job. We have done everything that we could and we had won the battle over life. I know i will reach this time in my life. And i will, notice how i say WILL embrace that day. Because i know at that instance that i have done everything i could in life. I have given it my all. And that it was not as how i thought of it when i was little as a “WASTE”.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We all need to realize we will die, and by drinking and doing drugs we are only speeding up the process. No matter the age. Yet there is no need for the stupid, “Well it’s my life.. BLAH BLAH BLAH” It’s not just your life you are effecting, there are others around you too. I’ve grown tired of being around all the smoke and drinking that i’ve been sitting in my room. Just to get away from it all. Sad? Yes... Yes it is.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">CrossFit</span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #e71c15; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now i was always interested in this idea of working out. But i never got into it until i saw my father. He brought me into this world of hell and pleasure. Now that might sound wrong but hear me out. This form of working out has the be the best form i have ever used. I constantly have to push myself. It makes you go to your limit and some. It’s nothing but constant work for up to 20 mins. Nothing but going. And i truly love it. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>There is a video on youtube i watch over and over. Simply due to the fact that it motivates me. That video makes me want to do better in my life. It makes me want to go work out and go to that limit and blast past it. The Video will be at the bottom of this story. I hope you all like it. And i hope to be in great shape due to Crossfit, i will make it my life style. And i will no care what others think of me. As long as i’m doing good i can care less.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #b9140f; font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Me & My Thanks</b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px color: #000000;"> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Now i’ve been getting loads of great responses from all of you whom have read my stories. And i have to say thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart thank you all. You all are the reason i write these. i love hearing all your thoughts. And it makes me feel great. But one thing i can’t seem to get off my mind is how everyone is doubting themselves. STOP DOUBTING YOURSELVES! You all are the change this world needs. SO CHANGE. Stop saying Hope, and start saying WILL. Stop saying maybe and start saying YES. Do not just do it for yourself do it for OTHERS. But more importantly Do it for your FUTURE.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-19423146031948320372011-03-09T19:45:00.000-08:002011-03-09T19:45:33.269-08:00Perfect... Ahah right...<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i></i></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></i>Now first off i must say this one thing. No ones life is perfect. NO ONES. We were all brought here to this world for a good reason. We can either attempt to figure out why we were brought here. Yet on another note we can all just sit back and do nothing for our futures. The future is there for US to take it. WE can only make our future. No one can change your future. YOU are the only person who can completely change your life, wether it be for the better or the worst. It’s up to you, yes YOU to become the change you wish to see in yourself OR even the World.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>To become what you want will make you feel great. And on top of that the people around you will feel great too. Now By changing yourself for the better you can effect the world. ( I know that sounds weird, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD?! right?) But think of it like this. It doesn’t have to be the biggest thing to change the world. Like ending a giant war, curing cancer, hell even inventing a source of fuel. All it takes to change the world is the little things, in example: Influencing people, helping others (wether it be small or big), or even making someone feel like they exist.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Effecting some other persons life can have a chain reaction type of effect. It might take some time to notice, But when one is lonely just the feeling of being acknowledged will greatly effect their life, and they will try to spread the happiness (sort of say). And unless you’ve experienced the feeling of being alone, or even just feeling completely worthless. You would probably think your life is perfect. But as i said before no ones life is perfect. There is always something holding them back.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>So, as we all start our new lives we all tend to be part of the “LIVE FOR THE MOMENT” crowd. And my father taught me that it is completely stupid to think like that. If you live now how will your life be later on? Will it be great? Or even terrible? Now most of the people i have met drink or even do drugs. Now it might be fun and cool now. But your health is slowly pulling away from you. Now i was lucky enough to have my second chance at life. But do you think you’d be lucky? i was surprised i was able to receive such a great gift.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Yet once you think about it, you have one count that ONE LIFE to live. Why waste it when you were “Young and fit”? We should be looking into our futures and not our present or even past. We are so used to just sitting down and doing nothing. When we should be doing everything we can so that when we do settle down and have kids they can live a life we NEVER had. Because our future is THEIR future.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I have to think about if i ever have kids how their life will be constantly. Because they will (from my knowledge) be born Diabetics. And having to put a kid through that to me is just mind-blowing. It sucks to know that i would have to provide all these materials for my kids. All the needles, Insulin, and when it comes down to it the Insulin Pumps. And for a living in the moment type of a side note, it’s literally never getting out of my head how that has to happen.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But i know i can live with that, and i will teach my kids that it wasn’t their faults. I can easily take the blame for giving them this terrible gift. But i want them to know that they can do and be whatever they want in life. And tell them to do better then i did. I want them to be as successful or if not more then myself. And i will be with them through their hard times and their triumphs. And i would be more then Gladly to help them through anything.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Anyway, We need to learn that life isn’t terrible. WE ourselves make it our own hell. We can either make it the greatest time or the most terrible time. We are our own “gods” sort of say. We can do the right thing or the wrong. And we also need to learn that Life is a whole learning experience. We learn through all of our triumphs and our down falls. We learn who is an Ass Hole, who is just so fun to be around. We learn from our relationships with other humans.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Life is always worth living. At times it might seem like your life is a hell, but remember there is always someone out there who cares about you. I personally have had my downfalls, who hasn’t? But it’s always best to just bounce back from that downfall and go forward with your life. We can’t hold grudges forever. Because all they do is destroy.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>We need to learn that people that bring us down are just trying to pull us down to their level of life. We need to learn to strive for the best in OUR lives. To do what we want. Never to veer off into the path of the “FUN” times and the “WILD” parties. Try your best to keep pushing forward with your future. Then you will have a wonderful life. And if someone tell you that you are worthless then show them wrong. Become the change that you’d like to see. And never let anyone tell you that you are a Nobody. Because you ARE.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Some influence type quotes</b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“Believe in the power of ONE. Believe In Yourself. Believe In your own potential for greatness. Believe that you can change the world. It is something within each of us.”- Evan Tanner</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“Nothing Is Impossible!”</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“ Strive For Greatness”</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">“Never give up, push through it and think later.”</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Ending Comment From Me</b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;"><b></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I’d personally like to thank everyone who has read these, I truly</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Hope that they have helped you. I really like writing these.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So just remember one thing from me please.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Believe In YOURSELF.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">- Jared</span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br />
</span></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-74630435494090572052011-03-08T18:18:00.000-08:002011-03-08T18:18:33.897-08:00A Dream, and The Other Side.<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;">Now i like many others have had many dreams. Some scare the shit out of me, others make me laugh. But most recently i had a dream that made me wake up and just wonder about my life. It somewhat made me rethink some of my life. Some of the people i have met. And my whole 19 years of my life so far.</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b><u>The Dream...</u></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So i fell asleep like any other night. But the dream that comes to me is like no other. Now the person in this dream i have only seen in school, and this person came with me and some friends to Tuson. I have never known this person before. But this person just walked up to me in my dream and said to me, “ i will be with you..” As they just stared into my eyes, all i could do is hug the person. Now to me that fact oh hearing, “I will be with you..” Made me wake up. And almost start to cry. And then i sat there in my bed thinking about my life as it is.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It is always so weird to hear someone say that to me. They would want to be with me. My whole life i’ve been used to the rejection. But this instance, this RANDOM person that i don’t really know wants to be with me. Not someone else. ME. Now i didn’t know what to do about this. I just sat there and was thinking about how long i would be alone before i met that one person for me.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Yet something else ran through my mind after hearing that. I never will be alone. It might take time, But i will NEVER be alone. And just hearing that in my head made me feel good.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><b><u>The Other Side...</u></b><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">Now this is something i’ve been falling asleep to for years. After countless years of only having a bed big enough for me, having one that can fit two people is just a way of showing how lonely i am. I often go to sleep and look at the other side i just say to myself, “ God.. I wish someone was right there.. that’d be nice..” then fall asleep. But waking up is the worst. After a dream, just looking to that other side is almost like a hell to me.<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">It always makes me feel alone, and i do hate that feeling. But after that dream i sometimes almost see a girl sitting there looking at me and it makes me realize that i’m not alone. That girl i’ve been looking for will be there next to me one day. And i swear to GOD i will make sure she stays there by my side for the rest of my life. Because anyone who likes me i will always love.. And i know i will find her one day.. Ahah.. One Day...<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">P.S.- Please realize this, You are never truly alone. There is always someone there for you. It will take time, But there is someone for you..<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">-Jared</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-89642347246638078882011-03-06T20:28:00.000-08:002011-03-06T20:28:04.472-08:00IF i took drugs this is the result. aha<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><b><u>I HAVE NOT NOR EVER WILL TAKE ANY TYPE OF ILLEGAL DRUG. MY MIND SOMETIMES WORKS LIKE THIS TO EASILY EXPLAIN SOMETHING THAT IS BOTHERING ME.</u></b></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Life goes by in a blur, but every now and then you have to stop. Stop and look around at you, See all the little things that have made you happy. And all those things that have driven you insane. But then you realize My life is a great one and regardless of what happens i am happy. And that there is nothing that could take that away. Then you just want to stay stopped, and never move again because the fear of losing what you have is lingering in your mind...</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Yet you try to keep the positive mindset. And go back on the track. But then you realize you have lost yourself. You lost what you used to be like. And more then likely you will never find yourself again. You will become a Cut-Out. You will lose who you were, You will become just another Hopeless Kid with nothing in life to live for.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">But it is up to us to Stop before we hit that speed bump. To think about our lives, and say i don't need this. I never did. And it is up to us to either say No or say Yes. And if you say No, then you go on with your life. Living it how you want, never looking back to see what you left behind. And if you say Yes, then you become a mindless fool. You fall into anything and everything others tell you to do.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">But when you do stop, Love every minute of it. Love every small thing you get to enjoy. Wether that be eating out, hanging with friend, going to a movie, or just driving around in your car. Enjoy those little things. Because one day those could be taken away from you. And when that happens you will hit a stop sign. And it will be either A.) You turn left or right and pray that whatever happens you will find your way. Or B.) You will go forward and keep believing, and know that you are going to get where you want. </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And if you run that sign, though in the moment it will feel cool. A Cop will come and pull you over, and if he doesn't maybe an ambulance will.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">But know one thing, Your life is like a flower. It will blossom one day, and when it does it's up to us to keep it living. We can either water and nurture it. Or we can neglect it and watch the petals fall off and die. And if we keep the flower going then we will have a Strong, Healthy, and Beautiful flower. While if you let it die out then you will have a Ugly, Weak, almost non-exsistant flower.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And to everyone who actually reads these things, Please get off the "Society Nut-Sack". Stop caring about how you will look with certain guys. And guys stop worrying about how you will look with a certain girl. Because if you like someone who cares? If that happens to turn to love the more the better. Help that other person water and nurture their flower. Help them feel human. Because we of all people need it in this world.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Basically stop caring about looks, if you like someone then be with them regardless of what people think, Because in reality all that matters is what you think of the person. YOU know how the person is, others might not.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And give support to those who need help. Because we all have hit a stop sign, and we all need others like yourself to actually figure out what to do.. left or right.. or just go forward. We all need help, and it's up to friends and family to help. </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong>And a quick question to the Girls of SV (if you read this). WHY ARE LOOKS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? Is it so you will look cool with your friends? Or so you can make people jealous? Or is it an Ego-Booster? Or is it because you are so stupid (sorry to say) that you could care less if the guy you are dating actually has a brain and an ACTUAL heart? (aka cares about you, your goals in life)</strong></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Well that is about all i have to say. Hope you enjoyed this and got some of my weird phrasing and such. And please feel free to hit me up sometime if you need someone to talk to. I'm always down to listen.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Peace&Love</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared <3</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><strong></strong></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-3998650624374319902011-03-04T10:05:00.001-08:002011-03-04T10:05:29.885-08:00Valentines Day ( i know it's old but hey.. don't judge)<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">The day of "Love". And i say love like "Love" because for the most part we don't know what true love even is. We may think we know but we have no effing clue.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Now Valentines Day is (to me) supposed to show how we as humans. We show people love, or make them feel important if they are close to you. Now lately a lot of people have been saying, " Guys are ASSHOLES". Which in part makes me RAGE. I'm a nice and respectful guy. I don't jump the gun, and i don't ask to much from anyone. All i can do is ask for ones respect and honesty. But when i get called an ass-hat because someone made a shit choice in picking a guy it's like WHAT THA FUUUCCCCCCK?!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Don't get me wrong, MOST guys only want one thing from a girl, Da Vajayjay. And they will manipulate the girl to get it. And if the girl doesn't have any decent thought process it happens. Then because it happened ALL Guys are labeled this. Look at me, 200lbs., Bearded, and a Diabetic. I'm in no world perfect, or shit even worth most peoples time. But if you look deep into me (mentally) you will find out that i am an Hopeless Romantic, I love hanging out, I have some issues in life that most could never dream of. But in all i try to be there for EVERY friend, wether that be a Girl OR Boy.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">All i can do as someone who never got looked at by the opposite sex is try to be there only hoping someone will actually see who i am, and maybe actually like me. But it NEVER happens, People simply just say, " hey thanks for being awesome but ima go have sex with a d-bag" OR " hey thanks means a lot... well time to go do the opposite of what you just said!". It's a simple fact that all we do is go based of looks first. The GIANT mental game never comes into play until after everything is said and done. </div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And it's bull shit to me that ANYONE would have to go 18+ years without having a decent relationship that was worth every moment of pain and sorrow to the giant triumphs and joys. To me it's like slapping someone in the face simply because they are not what is society calls, "Hot". This day only brings people down, it drives us insane for the fact that we don't have anyone to be in a relationship with. It makes us feel more alone then ever. And it really shouldn't. But it does and always will.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Now most people can back me up in saying i am a nice guy, i think about others before myself. Because what would i do if i had no one to hang with? or even talk to? i would be nothing. And it's a simple fact that i care about others to much. I only hurt myself in the end. Because i feel like i put in so much effort and try to make people happy but in the end i get the giant slap in the face. Now this day is as i said supposed to be about "Love", so why not go out and dig deep to try to find that nice guy? AND I MEAN LITERALLY NICE NOT SOME D-BAG THAT WANTS TO EFF YOUR BRAINS OUT AND PLAYS THE INNOCENT GAME B.S. TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AND ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Look at someone like me, Bigger set, Bearded, Tattoo'd etc etc. I'd give anything in the world to be with someone on this day. But i just live with the fact that my time hasn't hit yet. As i am still to be discovered by someone other than myself. And someone worth my time and effort, and my blood, sweat and tears. Because though i have been on a long waiting list i will find someone one day. And i will cherish EVERY moment with that person. And if i have kids so be it, that is awesome!</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">But seriously give guys like Me, or most of my friends a chance. We are fun people to be around. We are respectable. And we don't judge before we get to know someone.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">So make this a day of trying to find then a day of sorrow and misery. Make it a happy day. Be Optimistic. As it takes years of trying to be noticed to build up the respect and the want if not need to be in a relationship. I've had 18 years of that, and it sucked terribly. So go out and have fun.</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared</div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-49347543220841431502011-03-02T22:34:00.000-08:002011-03-02T22:34:57.902-08:00Life, it goes on...Today i had finally realized something. Life as we know it goes by in a flash. But within that flash is a lifetime of memories. Memories we will either cherish or dread. But as i walked today i realized how happy i was, and how great it felt to be alive. Which is something i haven't felt in such a long time. It was a much needed slap in the face. And it was well worth it.<br />
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And i hope within my future i can have all kinds of fun and awesome memories to share and enjoy with family and friends. And it's weird to say, but not to sound cocky or anything. But i know for a fact i will have some pretty awesome Memories to share. Wether it be my Marriage (when that happens), to a Childs birth to the many birthdays to come after. Or if my whole motivational speaker goal in life goes through to actually help others. To actually help someone in their time of need. But regardless i will have MANY a memories of all the fun and exciting things to come in my life.<br />
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And when we doubt life as we know it, it throws us a curve ball. Then we jump back in and get back up. It is an amazing thing. It's like when we think everything has ended, it starts back up again. But only to give us more memories. More things to remember for life. And regardless of what we say, we always love life. Because it is an ever changing force in our lives. It constantly keeps us on our toes. It's insanely LOVELY. And even though i have had my fair share of scares and down times so far in my short existence of life. All i can do is sit and wonder what my future will be like.<br />
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And every time i think about it i get excited. I think about how i will have a family. How i will try to raise them to be better then i was. And to be more outgoing and everything along those lines. As cheesy as it sounds. It's like i can imagine my life in the future just being full of fun. And enjoying every little moment there is to enjoy. While at the same time recovering from every downfall that also comes into play.<br />
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But hey it's life and regardless of what you say, you will always love your life. Just because things at the moment seem to be in a shit hole. In the future you have nothing but awesome memories to look forward to. And you know you will be thankful for every moment in your life. Regardless if they made you Insanely happy or Insanely depressed. Because EVERY memory has turned you into what you are today and what you will be in the future. So enjoy life. Go outside and walk around look at every little thing and just take it all in.<br />
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Cause you know as they say, "Life goes on."<br />
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-JaredBeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-13349671262194219782011-03-01T22:47:00.000-08:002011-03-01T22:49:31.143-08:00Simple MathNo matter what life throws at us we can either do one of two things, either a.) Face it head on and live with whatever the consequence is. Or B.) Let it hit the floor and debate to pick up the pieces and gluing it back together. Now i've always been the type to let it fall. And procrastinate until it was finally time for me deal with the problem. But as i've grown older i've grown to realize that i should just face everything head on and deal with the issues that ensue. Regardless of the outcome. And that i should then respect and know it was MY personal choice to do what i did.<br />
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It's just common knowledge that if something is wrong, we should try to fix it. But i've noticed for a lot of things we never do give it the effort they desire. We simply just could care less. We've grown to accept things that are wrong and try not to fix it because we are lazy. And if we do face that problem we might be a complete and utter Ass about it. And make ourselves look stupid or try to get into a fight. Simply because we put it off so long that it could have rotted inside you until it finally just burst.<br />
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As i sit here thinking about this stuff i can only think of Manchester Orchestra's new song - Simple Math. It talks about how we at times do things because its an in the moment thing. And how we can be wrong and no one will stop you. And it's all a simple thing. It's as simple as we not caring about other people, AND our own desire of things. We WANT (not need) things sometimes so bad when the opportunity turns up we take it. And we could care less about the outcome of either us nor whoever else is involved.<br />
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By the way this is my new favorite song. But yeah we should start realizing how our actions don't just effect us but they can also effect those around us. And that goes for every little action. From taking a pen from someone, to something as drastic as killing someone. Everything one does has an action, but the issue is who will it effect? It will effect Friends who've always been there for you. And Family who loved you and supported every single decision in your life. Don't hurt those who care about you. So do the right thing. And live a good life...<br />
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-JaredBeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-256321711690960825.post-68891410266290294722011-03-01T19:25:00.000-08:002011-03-01T19:25:06.474-08:00Hate.<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Why do we hate ourselves? Why do we hate others? It's a VERY strong word. HATE. But why do we use it so often?</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">We HATE when we die in a Video Game, We HATE terrible Drivers, We HATE almost everything at some point in life.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">First why do we HATE our decisions in life. We at times seem to HATE every little thing we do too. To me we HATE our decisions simply because of the outcome. Which for the most part is a Bad outcome. And instead of just dealing with the outcome and trying to fix it, we just "HATE" it and Bitch and moan about Everything. INSTEAD we should just accept the outcome. Even if it is bad we should just accept it. </div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">(Example) Someone is a douche to you, you then HATE that person. Now you don't know that person personally. Maybe they are having a bad day. But instead you HATE that person for being a Douche to you..</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Second why do we HATE ourselves? We tend to HATE our lives. As in how your life is going. If we don't have a partner we dread our lives. We dread having the feeling of being alone countless nights. Going to sleep and waking up without someone being there. If we don't do what "Society" wants us to do. Then we tend to HATE ourselves. Because we don't feel accepted. It's a crap thing to realize, but we HATE not being accepted. And it's why (to me) we begin to HATE ourselves, because we think we can't get ANYONE, can't make ANY friends. Somewhat LITERALLY can't do ANYTHING.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">As i wrote before we should never Hate ANY of our Decisions. We made them, live up to the end result. Wether it is a BAD or GOOD outcome. And we need to not let things get to us as much as they do. But we are human, and no matter what i say or anyone else says. We will always feel the way we don't want to.</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Peace&Love</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">-Jared<3</div></div></div>BeardedDiabetichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755096913973810357noreply@blogger.com2