Perfect... Ahah right...

Now first off i must say this one thing. No ones life is perfect. NO ONES. We were all brought here to this world for a good reason. We can either attempt to figure out why we were brought here. Yet on another note we can all just sit back and do nothing for our futures. The future is there for US to take it. WE can only make our future. No one can change your future. YOU are the only person who can completely change your life, wether it be for the better or the worst. It’s up to you, yes YOU to become the change you wish to see in yourself OR even the World.

To become what you want will make you feel great. And on top of that the people around you will feel great too. Now By changing yourself for the better you can effect the world. ( I know that sounds weird, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD?! right?) But think of it like this. It doesn’t have to be the biggest thing to change the world. Like ending a giant war, curing cancer, hell even inventing a source of fuel. All it takes to change the world is the little things, in example: Influencing people, helping others (wether it be small or big), or even making someone feel like they exist.

Effecting some other persons life can have a chain reaction type of effect. It might take some time to notice, But when one is lonely just the feeling of being acknowledged will greatly effect their life, and they will try to spread the happiness (sort of say). And unless you’ve experienced the feeling of being alone, or even just feeling completely worthless. You would probably think your life is perfect. But as i said before no ones life is perfect. There is always something holding them back.

So, as we all start our new lives we all tend to be part of the “LIVE FOR THE MOMENT” crowd. And my father taught me that it is completely stupid to think like that. If you live now how will your life be later on? Will it be great? Or even terrible? Now most of the people i have met drink or even do drugs. Now it might be fun and cool now. But your health is slowly pulling away from you. Now i was lucky enough to have my second chance at life. But do you think you’d be lucky? i was surprised i was able to receive such a great gift.

Yet once you think about it, you have one count that ONE LIFE to live. Why waste it when you were “Young and fit”? We should be looking into our futures and not our present or even past. We are so used to just sitting down and doing nothing. When we should be doing everything we can so that when we do settle down and have kids they can live a life we NEVER had. Because our future is THEIR future.

I have to think about if i ever have kids how their life will be constantly. Because they will (from my knowledge) be born Diabetics. And having to put a kid through that to me is just mind-blowing. It sucks to know that i would have to provide all these materials for my kids. All the needles, Insulin, and when it comes down to it the Insulin Pumps. And for a living in the moment type of a side note, it’s literally never getting out of my head how that has to happen.

But i know i can live with that, and i will teach my kids that it wasn’t their faults. I can easily take the blame for giving them this terrible gift. But i want them to know that they can do and be whatever they want in life. And tell them to do better then i did. I want them to be as successful or if not more then myself. And i will be with them through their hard times and their triumphs. And i would be more then Gladly to help them through anything.

Anyway, We need to learn that life isn’t terrible. WE ourselves make it our own hell. We can either make it the greatest time or the most terrible time. We are our own “gods” sort of say. We can do the right thing or the wrong. And we also need to learn that Life is a whole learning experience. We learn through all of our triumphs and our down falls. We learn who is an Ass Hole, who is just so fun to be around. We learn from our relationships with other humans.

Life is always worth living. At times it might seem like your life is a hell, but remember there is always someone out there who cares about you. I personally have had my downfalls, who hasn’t? But it’s always best to just bounce back from that downfall and go forward with your life. We can’t hold grudges forever. Because all they do is destroy.

We need to learn that people that bring us down are just trying to pull us down to their level of life. We need to learn to strive for the best in OUR lives. To do what we want. Never to veer off into the path of the “FUN” times and the “WILD” parties. Try your best to keep pushing forward with your future. Then you will have a wonderful life. And if someone tell you that you are worthless then show them wrong. Become the change that you’d like to see. And never let anyone tell you that you are a Nobody. Because you ARE.

Some influence type quotes

“Believe in the power of ONE. Believe In Yourself. Believe In your own potential for greatness. Believe that you can change the world. It is something within each of us.”- Evan Tanner

“Nothing Is Impossible!”

“ Strive For Greatness”

“Never give up, push through it and think later.”

Ending Comment From Me

I’d personally like to thank everyone who has read these, I truly

Hope that they have helped you. I really like writing these.

So just remember one thing from me please.

Believe In YOURSELF.

- Jared

A Dream, and The Other Side.

Now i like many others have had many dreams. Some scare the shit out of me, others make me laugh. But most recently i had a dream that made me wake up and just wonder about my life. It somewhat made me rethink some of my life. Some of the people i have met. And my whole 19 years of my life so far.

The Dream...

So i fell asleep like any other night. But the dream that comes to me is like no other. Now the person in this dream i have only seen in school, and this person came with me and some friends to Tuson. I have never known this person before. But this person just walked up to me in my dream and said to me, “ i will be with you..” As they just stared into my eyes, all i could do is hug the person. Now to me that fact oh hearing, “I will be with you..” Made me wake up. And almost start to cry. And then i sat there in my bed thinking about my life as it is.

It is always so weird to hear someone say that to me. They would want to be with me. My whole life i’ve been used to the rejection. But this instance, this RANDOM person that i don’t really know wants to be with me. Not someone else. ME. Now i didn’t know what to do about this. I just sat there and was thinking about how long i would be alone before i met that one person for me.

Yet something else ran through my mind after hearing that. I never will be alone. It might take time, But i will NEVER be alone. And just hearing that in my head made me feel good.

The Other Side...

Now this is something i’ve been falling asleep to for years. After countless years of only having a bed big enough for me, having one that can fit two people is just a way of showing how lonely i am. I often go to sleep and look at the other side i just say to myself, “ God.. I wish someone was right there.. that’d be nice..” then fall asleep. But waking up is the worst. After a dream, just looking to that other side is almost like a hell to me.

It always makes me feel alone, and i do hate that feeling. But after that dream i sometimes almost see a girl sitting there looking at me and it makes me realize that i’m not alone. That girl i’ve been looking for will be there next to me one day. And i swear to GOD i will make sure she stays there by my side for the rest of my life. Because anyone who likes me i will always love.. And i know i will find her one day.. Ahah.. One Day...

P.S.- Please realize this, You are never truly alone. There is always someone there for you. It will take time, But there is someone for you..

-Jared

IF i took drugs this is the result. aha

I HAVE NOT NOR EVER WILL TAKE ANY TYPE OF ILLEGAL DRUG. MY MIND SOMETIMES WORKS LIKE THIS TO EASILY EXPLAIN SOMETHING THAT IS BOTHERING ME.

Life goes by in a blur, but every now and then you have to stop. Stop and look around at you, See all the little things that have made you happy. And all those things that have driven you insane. But then you realize My life is a great one and regardless of what happens i am happy. And that there is nothing that could take that away. Then you just want to stay stopped, and never move again because the fear of losing what you have is lingering in your mind...

Yet you try to keep the positive mindset. And go back on the track. But then you realize you have lost yourself. You lost what you used to be like. And more then likely you will never find yourself again. You will become a Cut-Out. You will lose who you were, You will become just another Hopeless Kid with nothing in life to live for.

But it is up to us to Stop before we hit that speed bump. To think about our lives, and say i don't need this. I never did. And it is up to us to either say No or say Yes. And if you say No, then you go on with your life. Living it how you want, never looking back to see what you left behind. And if you say Yes, then you become a mindless fool. You fall into anything and everything others tell you to do.

But when you do stop, Love every minute of it. Love every small thing you get to enjoy. Wether that be eating out, hanging with friend, going to a movie, or just driving around in your car. Enjoy those little things. Because one day those could be taken away from you. And when that happens you will hit a stop sign. And it will be either A.) You turn left or right and pray that whatever happens you will find your way. Or B.) You will go forward and keep believing, and know that you are going to get where you want. 

And if you run that sign, though in the moment it will feel cool. A Cop will come and pull you over, and if he doesn't maybe an ambulance will.

But know one thing, Your life is like a flower. It will blossom one day, and when it does it's up to us to keep it living. We can either water and nurture it. Or we can neglect it and watch the petals fall off and die. And if we keep the flower going then we will have a Strong, Healthy, and Beautiful flower. While if you let it die out then you will have a Ugly, Weak, almost non-exsistant flower.

And to everyone who actually reads these things, Please get off the "Society Nut-Sack". Stop caring about how you will look with certain guys. And guys stop worrying about how you will look with a certain girl. Because if you like someone who cares? If that happens to turn to love the more the better. Help that other person water and nurture their flower. Help them feel human. Because we of all people need it in this world.

Basically stop caring about looks, if you like someone then be with them regardless of what people think, Because in reality all that matters is what you think of the person. YOU know how the person is, others might not.

And give support to those who need help. Because we all have hit a stop sign, and we all need others like yourself to actually figure out what to do.. left or right.. or just go forward. We all need help, and it's up to friends and family to help. 

And a quick question to the Girls of SV (if you read this). WHY ARE LOOKS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? Is it so you will look cool with your friends? Or so you can make people jealous? Or is it an Ego-Booster?  Or is it because you are so stupid (sorry to say) that you could care less if the guy you are dating actually has a brain and an ACTUAL heart? (aka cares about you, your goals in life)

Well that is about all i have to say. Hope you enjoyed this and got some of my weird phrasing and such. And please feel free to hit me up sometime if you need someone to talk to. I'm always down to listen.

Peace&Love

-Jared <3

Valentines Day ( i know it's old but hey.. don't judge)

The day of "Love". And i say love like "Love" because for the most part we don't know what true love even is. We may think we know but we have no effing clue.

Now Valentines Day is (to me) supposed to show how we as humans. We show people love, or make them feel important if they are close to you. Now lately a lot of people have been saying, " Guys are ASSHOLES". Which in part makes me RAGE. I'm a nice and respectful guy. I don't jump the gun, and i don't ask to much from anyone. All i can do is ask for ones respect and honesty. But when i get called an ass-hat because someone made a shit choice in picking a guy it's like WHAT THA FUUUCCCCCCK?!

Don't get me wrong, MOST guys only want one thing from a girl, Da Vajayjay. And they will manipulate the girl to get it. And if the girl doesn't have any decent thought process it happens. Then because it happened ALL Guys are labeled this. Look at me, 200lbs., Bearded, and a Diabetic. I'm in no world perfect, or shit even worth most peoples time. But if you look deep into me (mentally) you will find out that i am an Hopeless Romantic, I love hanging out, I have some issues in life that most could never dream of. But in all i try to be there for EVERY friend, wether that be a Girl OR Boy.

All i can do as someone who never got looked at by the opposite sex is try to be there only hoping someone will actually see who i am, and maybe actually like me. But it NEVER happens, People simply just say, " hey thanks for being awesome but ima go have sex with a d-bag" OR " hey thanks means a lot... well time to go do the opposite of what you just said!". It's a simple fact that all we do is go based of looks first. The GIANT mental game never comes into play until after everything is said and done. 

And it's bull shit to me that ANYONE would have to go 18+ years without having a decent relationship that was worth every moment of pain and sorrow to the giant triumphs and joys. To me it's like slapping someone in the face simply because they are not what is society calls, "Hot". This day only brings people down, it drives us insane for the fact that we don't have anyone to be in a relationship with. It makes us feel more alone then ever. And it really shouldn't. But it does and always will.

Now most people can back me up in saying i am a nice guy, i think about others before myself. Because what would i do if i had no one to hang with? or even talk to? i would be nothing. And it's a simple fact that i care about others to much. I only hurt myself in the end. Because i feel like i put in so much effort and try to make people happy but in the end i get the giant slap in the face. Now this day is as i said supposed to be about "Love", so why not go out and dig deep to try to find that nice guy? AND I MEAN LITERALLY NICE NOT SOME D-BAG THAT WANTS TO EFF YOUR BRAINS OUT AND PLAYS THE INNOCENT GAME B.S. TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AND ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU.

Look at someone like me, Bigger set, Bearded, Tattoo'd etc etc. I'd give anything in the world to be with someone on this day. But i just live with the fact that my time hasn't hit yet. As i am still to be discovered by someone other than myself. And someone worth my time and effort, and my blood, sweat and tears. Because though i have been on a long waiting list i will find someone one day. And i will cherish EVERY moment with that person. And if i have kids so be it, that is awesome!

But seriously give guys like Me, or most of my friends a chance. We are fun people to be around. We are respectable. And we don't judge before we get to know someone.

So make this a day of trying to find then a day of sorrow and misery. Make it a happy day. Be Optimistic. As it takes years of trying to be noticed to build up the respect and the want if not need to be in a relationship. I've had 18 years of that, and it sucked terribly. So go out and have fun.

-Jared

Life, it goes on...

Today i had finally realized something. Life as we know it goes by in a flash. But within that flash is a lifetime of memories. Memories we will either cherish or dread. But as i walked today i realized how happy i was, and how great it felt to be alive. Which is something i haven't felt in such a long time. It was a much needed slap in the face. And it was well worth it.

And i hope within my future i can have all kinds of fun and awesome memories to share and enjoy with family and friends. And it's weird to say, but not to sound cocky or anything. But i know for a fact i will have some pretty awesome Memories to share. Wether it be my Marriage (when that happens), to a Childs birth to the many birthdays to come after. Or if my whole motivational speaker goal in life goes through to actually help others. To actually help someone in their time of need. But regardless i will have MANY a memories of all the fun and exciting things to come in my life.

And when we doubt life as we know it, it throws us a curve ball. Then we jump back in and get back up. It is an amazing thing. It's like when we think everything has ended, it starts back up again. But only to give us more memories. More things to remember for life. And regardless of what we say, we always love life. Because it is an ever changing force in our lives. It constantly keeps us on our toes. It's insanely LOVELY. And even though i have had my fair share of scares and down times so far in my short existence of life. All i can do is sit and wonder what my future will be like.

And every time i think about it i get excited. I think about how i will have a family. How i will try to raise them to be better then i was. And to be more outgoing and everything along those lines. As cheesy as it sounds. It's like i can imagine my life in the future just being full of fun. And enjoying every little moment there is to enjoy. While at the same time recovering from every downfall that also comes into play.

But hey it's life and regardless of what you say, you will always love your life. Just because things at the moment seem to be in a shit hole. In the future you have nothing but awesome memories to look forward to. And you know you will be thankful for every moment in your life. Regardless if they made you Insanely happy or Insanely depressed. Because EVERY memory has turned you into what you are today and what you will be in the future. So enjoy life. Go outside and walk around look at every little thing and just take it all in.

Cause you know as they say, "Life goes on."

-Jared

Simple Math

No matter what life throws at us we can either do one of two things, either a.) Face it head on and live with whatever the consequence is. Or B.) Let it hit the floor and debate to pick up the pieces and gluing it back together. Now i've always been the type to let it fall. And procrastinate until it was finally time for me deal with the problem. But as i've grown older i've grown to realize that i should just face everything head on and deal with the issues that ensue. Regardless of the outcome. And that i should then respect and know it was MY personal choice to do what i did.

It's just common knowledge that if something is wrong, we should try to fix it. But i've noticed for a lot of things we never do give it the effort they desire. We simply just could care less. We've grown to accept things that are wrong and try not to fix it because we are lazy. And if we do face that problem we might be a complete and utter Ass about it. And make ourselves look stupid or try to get into a fight. Simply because we put it off so long that it could have rotted inside you until it finally just burst.

As i sit here thinking about this stuff i can only think of Manchester Orchestra's new song - Simple Math. It talks about how we at times do things because its an in the moment thing. And how we can be wrong and no one will stop you. And it's all a simple thing. It's as simple as we not caring about other people, AND our own desire of things. We WANT (not need) things sometimes so bad when the opportunity turns up we take it. And we could care less about the outcome of either us nor whoever else is involved.

By the way this is my new favorite song. But yeah we should start realizing how our actions don't just effect us but they can also effect those around us. And that goes for every little action. From taking a pen from someone, to something as drastic as killing someone. Everything one does has an action, but the issue is who will it effect? It will effect Friends who've always been there for you. And Family who loved you and supported every single decision in your life. Don't hurt those who care about you. So do the right thing. And live a good life...

-Jared

Hate.

Why do we hate ourselves? Why do we hate others? It's a VERY strong word. HATE. But why do we use it so often?

We HATE when we die in a Video Game, We HATE terrible Drivers, We HATE almost everything at some point in life.

First why do we HATE our decisions in life. We at times seem to HATE every little thing we do too. To me we HATE our decisions simply because of the outcome. Which for the most part is a Bad outcome. And instead of just dealing with the outcome and trying to fix it, we just "HATE" it and Bitch and moan about Everything. INSTEAD we should just accept the outcome. Even if it is bad we should just accept it. 

(Example) Someone is a douche to you, you then HATE that person. Now you don't know that person personally. Maybe they are having a bad day. But instead you HATE that person for being a Douche to you..

Second why do we HATE ourselves? We tend to HATE our lives. As in how your life is going. If we don't have a partner we dread our lives. We dread having the feeling of being alone countless nights. Going to sleep and waking up without someone being there. If we don't do what "Society" wants us to do. Then we tend to HATE ourselves. Because we don't feel accepted. It's a crap thing to realize, but we HATE not being accepted. And it's why (to me) we begin to HATE ourselves, because we think we can't get ANYONE, can't make ANY friends. Somewhat LITERALLY can't do ANYTHING.

As i wrote before we should never Hate ANY of our Decisions. We made them, live up to the end result. Wether it is a BAD or GOOD outcome. And we need to not let things get to us as much as they do. But we are human, and no matter what i say or anyone else says. We will always feel the way we don't want to.

Peace&Love

-Jared<3