Sunday, August 28, 2011

Not sure anymore...

It feels like I just find myself. And then I start to question what are my life goals, who I am, and what my belief system was..

But you know what? It's the spice of life. It's all those worries and uncertainties that makes life so special. And it's going to be a life journey to find myself. And to find where I want to go... 

But it will take patience. And I know that. But it's going to be fun and well worth it in the end. And it's going to be something to tell people about while going through it all.. 

I mean at first it was kind of a weird experience that feeling of just losing everything within myself. But I will start to piece it back together one by one. And hopefully I will lead a positive and healthy life. Because I know it's up to me to figure everything out. But it's knowing that fact that it kind of makes it exciting. It makes me look forward to the rest of my life.

And I know I talk about how girls here are stupid and all. But it's just me venting out anger and frustration. Because I feel lonely. And it's sad when I sit back and realize that I say those things though they are somewhat true. But it's more of my own fault. It's not like i'm getting out and meeting new people. Which is hard.. But I guess all I could say is Sorry to those few Women in SV that are actually worth the time to date. And i'm sorry for I guess being an Ass Hat.

And at the same time i've started to meditate. And at the end of it all I find myself at peace. Almost at a happy state. Simply because I clear my mind of all the "Drama" and the "Bullshit" of life. And it's made me look at things in a different light. And at the same time it's helped me realize who is truly there for me in life. And that is Family. Seriously big thanks to "My Nigga Sister" Ashley. And my Parents for making me who I am. And my Grandparents for always having my back and supporting me. Because I realized that they are more important then the world to me. And that is truly all I need in life.

And to all the people out there who actually read these. Thank you for taking the time out to actually sit down and read these. I hope they weren't repetitive with the whole "Girls BLAH BLAH" Stuff.. And I hope I have maybe actually helped someone out there. And to those who have been my almost second family this past couple of months thanks. You all have shown me a side of life i've actually began to like and now I miss. But I know sometime soon we will be back to it sometime in the future.

But seriously Thanks to all those who read these. I hope you enjoyed it.


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