Saturday, March 19, 2011

Worthless....(old stuff)

I have always wondered in my life, why we all must bring others down. To make other people feel like complete Crap. To make other people feel worthless, like nobodies. We seem to consistently bring others down just to do it. We seem to not care about what they think. We have turned into a Species that only cares about our own well being. It’s sad to say it. But from what i have seen through out my life it seems to be true.  I have seen my best friends fall, hit rock bottom. And it kills me to see them hit the bottom. 
I have personally hit many bottoms in my life. It took me years to get over one before it seemed like 10 more issues hit me. I never went to anyone to talk to about how i felt, or even at times be the helping hand. That grand listening force. I have felt every down, from being made fun of, to hearing friends go through the worst imaginable things. And at times all i could do is sit back and realize that i have been no help at all through someones hard time.
Yet through all of this i’ve always wondered why do we all tend to let our selves get to these points? the LOWS... We are all unique. We all do things differently. There is no reason to be down. At least for me, when being made fun of i would always blow it off. And it would come back and haunt me for what seemed like an eternity. I have noticed that making myself down, i was literally playing into their hands. I was letting myself go. I wasn’t letting the best of my life go to the surface.
Not to sound “cliche” but we all need to put the best of our lives on the surface. We should not dwell on the terrible things that people can say about us. We are all not worthless. We all have a purpose in life. It is our destiny to make our futures what we want them to be. So do your best. AND BECOME WHAT YOU WANT. Because your best interests are better then everyone else’s. 
I’ve also realize that me, yes ME am a great person. I’ve grown so tired lately of my life being all about ME.. Me, Me, Me, Me. I’ve been dreading the day that i can literally stop focusing on my life. And just spend the time and get to know someone else. Get to hear their problems, and their triumphs. Because i’ve been tired of my life at the moment. It seems like to me i have not done anything for myself. All i do is keep myself alive at the moment. I feel like Crap.. My life at the moment is at a cross roads. 
I want to leave.. But i know i can’t.. I want to find someone to cherish, but i can’t.. I also want to help others.. But how can i? I don’t know.. But it will all come to me someday... And to be honest even though it hurts all i can do is wait..


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